Sad

I am so sad. My heart hurts. I feel the swelling feelings of unhappiness and even despair. I live a life of gluttony and hedonism. How did this happen to me? How did everything else become so important in my life? What can I do to change this? I am so incredibly alone and so incredibly sad. It feels like nothing can or will ever change. I live in squalor and filth. I dwell in loneliness and misery. How do I change it. Can I change it. Will God change it? By small and simple things great things are brought to pass. So it would seem not to me. I cannot even do the small and simple things to bring to pass greatness. I am so unhappy. yet I know that I deserve not happiness. I have done too much. I have been gone too long from home. When will this endless hell be over. This endless sorrow and misery of a life I live. Let it end.